This month of April starting the 13th I was on federal jury duty. Unfortunately, I forgot all about it. I hadn't even read half the material... something about a three month trial, that was something I only learned about on the 15th when I finally found the papers.
I failed to call the federal jury phone number Monday because I was sick, tired, was working that day, and nobody bothers to send you a reminder a few days early so us old farts with CRS can catch up with the times! Then they sent threats, arriving Thursday, which pissed me off, so I expressed my pissoff very eloquently to the court clerk's phone mail twice. Then I finally found the paperwork I was supposed to deal with Monday and called to find that my jury service was no longer required. Probably because I forgot to call them when they wanted me to. So I sent back an essay on their Order To Show Cause form, and it too was eloquent although absent the profanity and histrionics I am so very capable of on the phone.
You know, after being on call for jury duty twice in the past two years they really should have left me the fuck alone. But since they didn't, and I got sick and still had to work nights, and had other distractions, and basically night people just can't even think like day people, and I might actually be getting a touch of Alzheimers because lately I have been forgetting a lot of names, I'm about done with this idea of serving impartially on a jury. Hey, if anyone asks, I hate every ethnic group and both genders, I think he looks guilty, I think corporations are evil or government is depending who's asking, and I'll sabotage every voir dire I get invited to from now till fucking Doomsday! They want to waste their money getting me to open doors to constitutional nullification and preset verdicts, that's what they're getting from me from now on. Fuck them all!